Improving Father and Son/Daughter Relationships
Relationships with parents tend to get tricky as kids grow into adults. Children may grow apart from their parents, pursuing different interests or have trouble communicating with each other which can cause tension and arguments. The father and son/daughter relationship can be especially complex and become strained as the years go by until neither one knows how to really repair their bond. Here some useful tips to maintain a good father son/daughter relationship at all stages of life.
From a father’s perspective
As a father, you may already have deep philosophies about life from your own childhood, developed certain interests and opinions on various topics. You may also want your son/daughter to adapt the same principles you live by. However, even from a young age, you must recognize that your son/daughter is his own person and as much as you would like him to be more like you, forcing your ideologies on his developing mind is not a good method.
What you can do instead:
- Acknowledge that your son/daughter is a unique individual
- Share your philosophies, teach him core values and morals but also allow him to be a critical thinker and teach you a thing or two as well
- Correct his behavior and actions in ways that do not put him down but rather give him constructive feedback and treat it like a life lesson.
- Provide unconditional love and support
- Build a strong foundation of communication
- Engage in fun activities, sports, fishing, camping and other bonding experiences
- Always make time for your son/daughter even if you have a hectic job
- Understand that parenting adapts to the times, what you were taught as a child and how, may not apply today to your child. Always adapt and be open minded to the changing environment of parenting.
From a son/daughter’s perspective
As a son/daughter, you may think your dad is your hero when you are a kid, but as you grow older realize he is a human being with flaws. Instead of resenting him for these flaws try to understand that he grew up in a different time and his methods of parenting may be ‘outdated’ to you.
What you can do instead:
- Appreciate that your father tries his best to provide for you
- Bridge the gap and take up common interests with your father
- Spend time with your father working on projects or hobbies and develop a strong bond
- Teach your father, help him keep up with modern inventions and help him adapt to a changing world
- Include your father in your life as a young adult, ask for his advice and opinions, cherish his input on certain topics you may raise and show that you appreciate his help
These simple actions can go a long way in developing and maintaining a wonderful father and son/daughter relationship. Always love and respect each other and be quick to resolve issues, forgive and learn from experiences. Things may not always be perfect, but establishing great communication and understanding is certainly an important factor in building strong bonds.